Why I Don't Date

One of my least favorite questions to hear: "why don't more guys ask girls out?" What if the answer isn't because we're antisocial? What if it's not because we're afraid of commitment? What if it's not because "all guys are stupid and shallow"?

It's interesting that some of the same people who whine about how shallow people are reward that same shallowness. They would never say it, but what you really believe is shown in what you do, not what you say. There's nothing wrong with talking about loving your boyfriend, but...

When the only time you talk about (especially on social media) loving your boyfriend is when he buys you something or talking about how hot he is, it's frustrating to people like me. When it seems so many relationships nowadays are almost entirely commercialized and/or sexualized, I'm not as likely to go asking girls out because I am neither rich nor hot.

Maybe I have too much of an idealist view of life. Maybe I'm guilty of the same things I get frustrated with other people for. Guys shouldn't get a free pass either. I'm merely writing from the only perspective I was given.

If people give in to the constant pressure to date, date, date!, they are less likely to find someone they genuinely like. While love is a choice, liking comes naturally. Don't forget to fall in like with the person you are in love with.

Besides, I'm too busy with school right now to give proper time to a relationship. That's the most valuable commodity in relationships: time, not money or hotness. To the people who keep rewarding shallowness: "ain't nobody got time fo' dat!"

And maybe one day, I'll even find someone who agrees.

-RST

Facebook Is Not the Devil

For some reason, I almost felt controversial typing in that title. But it's true that Facebook, snapchat, (insert name of social media here) is not the devil. I get the privacy thing, anything is public blah blah. Kids need to be protected. Of course. Yes, anything can be used for evil, but that's just the point. Anyone with their mind set on doing something bad is going to find a way to get it done, be it social media, texting, or even in person. Telling someone to completely do away with social media to take away temptation for doing bad stuff sends the wrong message. It says: 1. I am not at fault for my choices. 2. An inanimate object has the power to arbitrarily manipulate your mind. 3. I am incapable of making a good choice with something that has dangerous potential. The human mind is amazingly creative (when it wants to be). What it wants to accomplish, it generally does. The same thing that has potential for evil generally has equal potential for good. If parents are worried about what their kids do on social media, do what your title says you do: parent them. Not allowing any exposure to that kind of thing is lazy and dangerous. Communicate with them about what could happen with the internet and allow measured exposure to such things. The danger (to reiterate a previous point) is that we're teaching people that they aren't at fault for their choices. Super main point: take personal responsibility. Doing right is up to you, not Mark Zuckerberg. side note (well actually another main note, with some of the same points as what I just made): I'm tired of people blaming girls for how a guy thinks. No girl jumps inside a guy's mind and forces him to think a certain way. A guy who wants to lust can do a pretty good job of that no matter what a girl wears. And I'm not advocating nudist colonies here. But at the end of the day, guys have to realize that if we lust, it's our fault. -RST

Got Truth?

I know this happened a long time ago, but I just saw an article posted again about how the CEO of Starbucks has "no tolerance for traditional marriage supporters." As a Christian myself, I get so tired of when other Christians misrepresent people's words to try to fit their own argument. This isn't about whether you agree with the man's position or not. This is about being proponents and spreaders of truth. The man simply said “If you feel, respectfully, that you can get a higher return than the 38% you got last year, it’s a free country. You can sell your shares of Starbucks and buy shares in another company." Nothing about "we don't want your business." In the non-condescending, respectful tone we so often beg for, he just told us that no one is forcing you to buy Starbucks. (And let's not get into all the things you'd also be boycotting if you boycott Starbucks for their stance. Unless you believe hypocrisy is ok.) Can we please just spread truth and not say that people said something they didn't say? For being Christian, some people sure do have a funny idea of what telling the truth is.

Video of the CEOs comments down below:

-RST
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Ignorance Is Not Cool

Disclaimer: as usual for me, this is not meant to be an extensive researched thesis on the topic, only my personal commentary on an issue.

What I believe is one of the biggest problems with Christianity today isn’t that we don’t know our faith well enough. Even from a preschool age, I learned those catechisms. “Who is God? God is a spirit and does not have a body like man. What did God make? God made the heavens and the earth. What else did God make? God made me and all things. Why did God make me and all things? God made me and all things for his own glory.” You know how it goes. There are many more that I can’t remember at the moment. Then there were countless Bible verses learned at home and in Sunday school. I’m sure some teacher somewhere still owes me a Snickers. There are some preachers who love to dive into the intricate minutia of the Christian faith. Others preach a gospel message every other Sunday. Not knowing our faith well enough? Debatable. But what I believe is one of the biggest problems with Christianity today is that while we know our friends, we don’t know who or what we’re against.

Now I know, I’m 20 (almost 21!). I’m not a super Christian. I’ve asked God “why” before. I have actual struggles that I have to deal with every day. I don’t remember the exact day or even year I was saved (let’s save this topic for another day shall we). So what authority do I have? None. But luckily for me, the internet is a thing and Holy Spirit insight is also a thing so I get to tell you what I think anyways.

It seems many Christians I have come across are dedicated to debunking the myths of other religions. Which is fine. Except they’re debunking something that does even exist. The classic straw man argument. We seem to want to generalize all non-Christians and/or cults into one argument and shoot them down with our brilliantly crafted words, yet we get upset when others blame us for the deadly crusades. The hypocrisy is astounding. Or we misrepresent the words or ideas of someone and “defeat” an argument that person didn’t even make. Some people give out Christian literature and are upset when people don’t read it, yet the first thing they do when someone such as a Jehovah’s Witness, Muslim, or atheist comes to the door with something for them ready, they immediately throw it away. Why is it that we expect others to listen to what we have to say but refuse to engage them when they share what we believe?

We’re not commanded to shut down the opposing voice. Elijah let the prophets of Baal have their turn. Jesus engaged demons in conversation. But some people want to turn Christianity into a tyrannical religion where no opposition is allowed to exist. Should people stand for what they believe in? Of course. I’m not saying there is no absolute truth. But handle the truth with basic human decency. Don’t be the reason someone discredits Christianity as a whole because you forget the most basic rule of human interaction: treat others like you want to be treated. The Bible tells us to be ready to give an answer. We can’t answer something that is never stated or something that isn’t even an idea.

So please, if you hear about something that an atheist said, check it out. Go to firsthand sources and see if that is correct. We can’t base entire propositions on hearsay. If someone from a different religion comes to your door, engage them. I’m not asking that you be converted to everything obviously. But engage in polite conversation and maybe, just maybe, actually treat them as Jesus would. Because if we don’t know what people out there are saying, we’re spending all our time “beating the air” as Paul talked about. Ignorance is one thing. We can’t know what something is about if we have never come in contact with it. But willful ignorance is a whole different matter. We need to understand the world around us so we know how to interact with people. Being ignorant about what people believe and then telling them why what they believe is wrong doesn’t even make sense. It’s absurd.

Ask for wisdom as you engage others. Ask for wisdom as you read about the real life beliefs of other religions/cultures. People don’t open up to or listen to people who don’t understand them on a basic level. “But hey, you’re turning into one of those young evangelicals who preach the social gospel!” Nope. But God put us in the world. We’re going to be around people. And it would do you well to figure out how to deal with them.

Ignorance is not cool.

-RST

30 Rules of Life

Here's part two of a double feature on my blog tonight. This is a compilation of 30 of my rules of life. If you follow me on twitter, sorry for the repeat.

#1 rule of life: be your own toughest critic, and be generous with others.

#2 rule of life: if you can afford to go to a full service restaurant, tip well. those people need it. I try to do about 33%.

#3 rule of life: you're never as cool as you think you are. don't be so easily impressed.

#4 rule of life: treat people better than they treat you. don't expect return for kindness.

#5 rule of life: learn the difference between personal preference and something worth dying for. I doubt coke vs. pepsi is that important.

#6 rule of life: try new things. explore. travel. be spontaneous. keep an open mind.

#7 rule if life: earn people's respect. it goes a lot better than trying to demand it.

#8 rule of life: you can't control circumstances. you can control your attitude. choose to laugh instead of cry.

#9 rule of life: people are meant to be loved, things are meant to be used. not the other way around.

#10 rule of life: your opinion is a lot less desired by others than you think.

#11 rule of life: don't be on either side of a one way relationship. both people must give effort.

#12 rule of life: be content. don't take any friendship, any breath, any blessing for granted.

#13 rule of life: can't keep promises? don't make them.

#14 rule of life: listen more, talk less.

#15 rule of life: there's no taxes on being a servant. live for more than yourself.

#16 rule of life: don't be afraid of being right. if you know the truth, make it known.

#17 rule of life: a lady is a lady. treat her like one. and ladies, let a man treat you like a lady.

#18 rule of life: don't be afraid to challenge the norm.

#19 rule of life: take care of your body. it's the only one you get. not caring does not make you cool.

#20 rule of life: study history. you'll find it's lessons much more practical than you think.

#21 rule of life: black/white, man/woman, republican/democrat, american/not american, we're all people. respect life.

#22 rule of life: even in an issue you may disagree with someone on, you will find a positive lesson from his/her perspective.

#23 rule of life: when it comes to speaking, being understood is better than being impressive.

#24 rule of life: handle success as if it's all you know. handle failure as if you'll never know it again.

#25 rule of life: love isn't proven by what you say. it's proven by what you do.

#26 rule of life: "one may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel." (thank you doctor who) be the angel.

#27 rule of life: "don't give up. don't ever give up."-- jim valvano

#28 rule of life: always believe in the good around you. hang on to life's bright moments. don't let go of true friends.

#29 rule of life: think outside the box. unless, of course, you're a doctor who fan, in which case your box is bigger on the inside.

#30 rule of life: transcend circumstances. live above haters. live beyond yourself.




I hope those were somewhat insightful or interesting. Let me know what you think. Maybe even add your own "rules of life."

-RST

Blessings

I realize I promised a blog post much earlier than this. I apologize to the two people that ever read this. Since I waited so long, I'll combine this into a follow up post on my week working at Royal Family Kids Camp and my church VBS.

Working at RFKC, it was amazing to see kids that needed love so bad. I was sitting on a couch and a little girl just ran up and sat beside me. After just a few minutes of talking, she launched into a tackle hug and ran off. The moment melted my heart. Being around kids for a week who are subjected to abuse, some on a daily basis, will change your perspective. Kids who endure so much pain are able to exude so much joy, yet we complain when a red light is a little too long. I hope I was as much a blessing to the kids as they were to me, even if they did drive me a little crazy. A few random notes:

1. Kids think if you say anything nice to a member of the opposite sex, you should be dating that person.

2. Kids have no concept of sometimes you're first in line, sometimes you're last in line. It happens how it happens.

3. Kids don't realize that if you don't fight back, the fight can't go on.

At first I was nervous to work at the camp. But one week, many memories, much coffee, and a few new friends later, I'm already saying....... Let's do it again!

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My church recently finished VBS. There were 70+ saved, including one that I personally got to talk to. Nothing is more humbling than realizing someone's eternal destiny is your responsibility at the moment. I'm thankful that it's the power of God for salvation because I know if it were up to my words, I would definitely mess it up. I'm thankful that it takes simple faith. Praise God the Gospel still works. Pray for effective follow up/discipleship for those saved. Many come from unsaved homes and won't have much chance for growth without someone actively seeking them out.

The blessings from two separate one week events were too much for me to write or even comprehend. It was worth not being able to have a job just for those two weeks. A good exercise in proper perspective...

-RST

See you on the other side: a week with no internet

If you know me at all, you know I've been rather jobless and stuck at home for most of the summer so far. But I'm about to break that mold in a big way. Well, for a week anyways. I'll be leaving Sunday night to work at Royal Family Kids Camp (the one that's in Georgia) until Friday afternoonish. The camp is for abused neglected kids, and I'll be a counselor to two 10 year old boys during the week. A few points of excitement (excitement is a big deal for me):

1. I get to get out and do something. I love getting out and being able to do stuff. And with any luck, I'll end up with a worse farmer's tan than I already have now.

2. I get to push my limits. Now some of you people that are all cheerleader kind of personality say no problem. But if you know me at all, I'm not all that outwardly emotional. And of course, in a camp setting, they want counselors who are going to be excited about stuff and get the kids excited. That is going to be a challenge. Also, dealing with kids isn't my favorite thing ever. So having patience (and stamina) is also going to be a challenge.

3. I get to do what I (and the Bible for that matter) consider one of the truest expressions of Christianity. James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction..." and these kids that have been so mistreated in their lives that whether or not they live with parents or not, they are the kind of people the Bible talks about. Jesus came to earth to help the helpless, and I have a chance to do the same. For kids that may not have many good days at all in their whole life, I have the chance to help them have a good week. I have the opportunity to show God's love to kids who have gotten such a distorted view in their life of what love really is. Funny (but not) how the one place I can think of the Bible talking about pure religion is one of the most often neglected. Not that churches doing building projects, going on church outings, or other such things aren't good/important, but after seeing people with nothing, it makes our extra little fun things seem a lot less important.

I'll need your prayer. It will be a challenging (but hopefully fun) week. Pray I don't hinder truth in the kids' lives but that I present it lovingly and openly. Pray I survive a week without internet access. Ok, that might not be as hard as it seems. Looking forward to a week of growth for me and making smiles for others. I'll hit you with an update/summary next Saturday if I have enough energy, Monday if not. Don't miss me too much.

-RST